If a co-wife stays in the hospital or goes to visit her family, does she forfeit her right to a share of her husband’s time?

I have a question about treating co-wives fairly. 
1 – If one of them falls sick and stays in the hospital for five days, and during this time I stay with the other wife, do I have to make up the same number of days? 
2 – If one of them goes to visit her family for a few days, does she have the right to ask for me to stay with her for the same number of days?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

If the wife falls sick and stays in the hospital for a few days, she does not have the right to a share of your time during these days, because the cancellation of her rights comes from her, and obliging her husband to give her a share of his time will harm him as he would have to stay with her in the hospital to give her her share of his time. 

This is known from the discussion of the fuqaha’ concerning the share of the husband’s time for a co-wife who is detained. And they said: A sick co-wife has the right to her share of her husband’s time, unless he travels with his wives but she stayed behind because of her sickness, in which case she has no right to a share of his time. Nihaayat al-Muhtaaj (6/380). 

If giving her a share of his time is waived, making it up is also waived, so the husband does not have to make up those days during which she was absent.  

Secondly: 

If the wife goes to visit her family for a few days, or she travels someplace, if that is for her need, then the husband does not have to make up that time for her. If it was because of his need, then he should make it up for her. 

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (33/202): The share of one of them (the wives) may be missed because she is travelling. In that case it depends, according to the Shaafa’is and Hanbalis. They said: If she travelled without his permission for her need or his need, or for some other reason, she has no right to get a share of his time, because dividing of time is for the purpose of keeping company, and that is not possible in this case , because of her action, therefore her right is waived. 

If she travels with his permission and on an errand for him, then he should make up the time for her,  allocating to her the same amount of time as he spent with her co-wife, because she travelled with his permission and on an errand for him. Her case is similar to that of a co-wife who is with him but he kept away from her when he sent her away.  

If she travelled with his permission for her own errand or need, he does not have to make it up for her (according to the Hanbalis and the new view of the Shaafa’is) because she caused him to miss intimacy with her and she was not with him, his consent for her to travel absolves her of any sin. 

If she travels on her own with his permission for both their need, her right is not waived, as al-Zarkashi and others said, with regard to maintenance and also the division of his time, unlike the view of Ibn al-Aymad.  End quote. 

See: al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (12/433) 

And Allaah knows best.

How can he treat his two wives fairly?

Is it permissable for a man to be unfair to his wife if he has two wives or one of his wives by not splitting up up the time properly . he sometimes leaves the second wife house two or three hours late causing the first wife to be upset because of his lateness .

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

Islam requires the man who has more than one wife to treat his wives equally and fairly. 

What is meant by that is fairness with regard to spending the night, accommodation, spending and clothing. 

What is meant by fairness in spending the night is that he should divide his time equally among his wives, so if he spends one or two nights with the first, he must spend the same amount of time with each of his wives. 

Al-Shaafa’i said: 

The Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah and the view of most of the Muslim scholars indicate that the man must divide his time, night and day, among his wives, and must divide it equally, and that he is not allowed to be unfair in that.  

Al-Umm, 5/110 

What is meant by fairness in accommodation is that each of them should have her own accommodation where he comes to her, and their accommodation should not vary with the intention of favouring one over the other. 

Ibn Qudaamah said: 

The man does not have the right to make his two wives live together in one house without their consent, whether they are young or old, because that causes them harm due to the enmity and jealousy that exists between them, so making them live together provokes arguments and fighting, and each of them can hear sounds when he is intimate with the other, or she can see that. But if they agree to that then it is permissible, because they have that right but they are also allowed to forego it. 

Al-Mughni, 7/229. 

Al-Kaasaani said: 

If the husband wants her (his wife) to live with her co-wife or her in-laws, such as his mother, sister or daughter from another wife, or with his relatives, and she refuses, then he must accommodate her in a separate house, because they may annoy her or harm her if she lives with them. Her refusal is an indication of that annoyance and harm. Also he needs to be able to have intercourse with her and be intimate with her at any time that suits him, and that is not possible if a third person is present. 

Badaa’i al-Sanaa’i’, 4/23. 

What is meant by fairness in spending and clothing is that he should spend on them as much as he can afford. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

With regard to fairness in spending and clothing, this is also Sunnah, following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), He used to spend equally on his wives, and also used to divide his time equally among them. 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/269. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to treat them equally as regards staying the night, spending time with them and spending on them.

 

Zaad al-Ma’aad, 1/151 

With regard to other things, it does not matter if he does not treat them equally, such as giving a gift to one of them, or being more inclined towards one of them in his heart, or giving her more clothing than he is obliged to, or having intercourse with one of them more than another, without intending to harm the other. But if he treats them all equally that is better. 

Ibn Qudaamah said: 

He does not have to treat his wives equally in spending and clothing if he does what he is required for each of them. 

Ahmad said – concerning a man who had two wives – he has the right to give one more than the other with regard to spending, desire and clothing, if the other has enough, and he may buy a finer garment for her, so long as the other has enough.  

This is because it is too difficult to treat them equally with regard to all these matters, and if it were made obligatory he would not be able to do it, except with great difficulty. This is why it is not obligatory, such as treating them equally with regard to intercourse. 

Al-Mughni, 7/232. 

Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: 

If he gives each of them her rights with regard to clothing, spending and spending time with them, then it does not matter if his heart is inclined more towards one or if he gives one a gift… 

Fath al-Baari, 9/391. 

Al-Nawawi said: 

Our companions said: If he treats them equally (in the matters where that is required), he does not have to treat them equally with regard to intercourse, rather he should stay overnight with all of them but he does not have to have intercourse with each of them. He may have intercourse with some of them when it is their turn for him to stay with them and not others. But it is mustahabb for him not to neglect intimacy with some of them and to treat them all equally in this matter. 

Sharh Muslim, 10/46. 

Ibn Qudaamah said: 

We do not know of any dispute among the scholars regarding the fact that it is not obligatory to treat one's wives equally as regards intercourse, which is the view of Maalik and al-Shaafa’i, because intercourse has to do with desire and inclination, and there is no way to treat them equally in this regard. A man's heart may incline more to one of them than the other. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire”

[al-Nisa’ 4:129] 

‘Ubaydah al-Salmaani said concerning love and intercourse: 

If you are able to treat them equally with regard to intercourse, that is better, because it is more fair and just… But it is not obligatory to treat them equally with regard to intimacy that is less than intercourse, kissing, touching, etc, because if it is not essential to treat them equally with regard to intercourse, then that applies even more to the things that lead to it. 

Al-Mughni, 7/234, 235. 

Secondly: 

With regard to the husband going out when it is one wife’s turn, if that is because of some need and he does not intend to hurt her and he is not going out to the other wife, there is nothing wrong with that in sha Allaah. The basis of equal sharing of time is staying the night: he has to spend most of the night with the wife whose turn it is. Allaah has not created any hardship in religion, and it does not prevent the husband from going out or going shopping or attending classes during the time of one of his wives, if he does not intend to hurt her by going out, and he does not spend most of the night outside the house of the wife whose turn it is. 

Dr Ahmad Rayaan said: 

Some of the scholars have spoken in strict terms about fairness in dividing his time, and they say that everyone who goes against that is not treating his wives equally. Some of them even say that if he comes to the first wife after sunset and to the second after ‘Isha’, he is not treating them equally. 

What that means is that the husband must finish with all his business during the day, before the sun goes down, so that he can control the time when he goes to his wives each day, so that he goes at a specific hour each day. That may have been possible in the past when life was simpler and there were less necessities and people could live with less. But it is not possible now. How many men now can regulate their movements in such a way as to make sure they enter the house before the sun goes down each day, so that their division of time and their spending the night with each wife is completely equal? 

Rather it is more appropriate to suggest that he must spend most of the night in the house, without specifying the time when he should come in or go out, because his living circumstances or other people’s rights or the pursuit of knowledge and other circumstances may require him to go home late or leave home early. So what matters is that he should stay with the wife whose turn it is for most of the night, because the point of staying with his wife is to keep her company and be intimate with her, which can be achieved by the husband spending most of the night with her. We have seen from the ahaadeeth quoted above the way in which this division of time was achieved in the family of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him. The fact that he visited his other wives by night or by day, or met with them in the house of the wife whose turn it was did not contradict this fair division of time, even though it is well known that these visits and meetings might detract somewhat from the rights of the wife whose night it was, because it took some of her own time, and she had the exclusive right to this time where the others did not.  

Hence I think that what matters with regard to the issue of dividing the husband’s time among his wives is that he should spend most of the night with her whilst stipulating that his coming late should not be done with the intention of harming the wife whose night it is, rather it is the result of the husband’s everyday work.  

And Allaah knows best.

Women leading prayers

Can women pray in congregation ( Jamaah ) with a woman performing as Imaam ? 

Praise be to Allaah. 

It is not prescribed for women to recite the adhaan and iqaamah as it is for men. If a woman does recite the adhaan and iqaamah, it may be one of the three following scenarios:  

1       – She recites the adhaan and iqaamah for a group of men only, or for a mixed group of men and women. This is not prescribed in Islam and her adhaan and iqaamah for a group of men do not count

2       – She recites them for a group of women only.

3       – Or she recites them for herself when she is alone. 

It is permissible for her to recite the adhaan for a group of women or for herself, but it is not like the case with men. For men it is  more emphatically required, whereas for women, if they give the adhaan it is permissible, and if they do not, it is also permissible. If a woman does recite the adhaan, she must keep her voice low and make it just loud enough for her companions to hear. 

If a woman says the iqaamah for herself or for a group of women, that is better and is closer to what is mustahabb, but if she does not do that, the prayer is still valid. 

With regard to a woman leading the prayers and acting as an imaam, one of the two following scenarios may apply: 

1 – A woman leading men, or a mixed group of men and women. It is not correct for a woman to lead men in prayers at all, regardless of whether it is a fard (obligatory) prayer or a naafil (supererogatory) prayer.

2 – A woman leading women in prayer. It is mustahabb for women to pray together (in jamaa’ah) when they get together in a place. One of them should lead the others, but she should stand with them in the middle of the row. It is permissible and correct for a woman to lead other women in prayer

Does a man have to treat his co-wives equally in terms of gift-giving and intimacy?

Does a man have to treat his co-wives equally in terms of gift-giving and intimacy?

Praise be to Allaah.

Ibn Qudaamah said: 

He does not have to treat his co-wives equally in terms of spending and clothing, so long as he does what he is obliged to do with regard to each of them. 

Ahmad said concerning a man who had two wives: he has the right to favour one of them in terms of spending, intimacy and clothing, so long as the other has enough. He may buy for one of them clothing of a higher quality than for the other, so long as the other has enough. This is because treating them equally in all these matters is too difficult, and if it were obligatory then he would only be able to do it with great difficulty. So he does not have to do it, as is the case in treating them all equally with regard to intimacy.

Obligation of treating co-wives fairly and some of the rules on travel for men with more than one wife

I would like to know if it is allowed for a man, when he is married to two wives to take the second wife every time if he will travel, even if the first wife cannot go because of her children. What can she do if she feels that he do not want to divide his time equally between them. Please advice a good website with answers on polygamy.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Allaah has enjoined justice and fairness in all things. He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Allaah commands justice [and] the doing of good”

[al-Nahl 16:90] 

Ibn Jareer al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

In this Book that He revealed to you, O Muhammad, Allaah enjoins justice, which is fairness. 

Tafseer al-Tabari (17/279). 

Allaah has forbidden injustice and wrongdoing (zulm) to His slaves, and He warns those who are unjust or do wrong of punishment in this world and in the Hereafter. 

It was narrated from Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, narrating from Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted: “ ‘O My slaves, I have forbidden zulm to Myself and I have made it haraam among you, so do not wrong one another.” Narrated by Muslim (2577). 

Allaah has enjoined justice and fairness between co-wives, and there is a warning against wronging one of them at the expense of another. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”

[al-Nisa’ 4:3] 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

i.e., the one who wants to take two or three or four wives may do so, but no more than that, because the context of the verse reminds people of the blessings of Allaah, so it is not permissible to add anything to the number that Allaah has defined, according to scholarly consensus. That is because a man’s desire may not be fulfilled by one wife, so it is permitted for him to take more, up to four, because four is sufficient for anyone, except in rare cases. However, that is only permitted to him if he is confident that he will not be unfair and unjust, and that he will be able to give them their rights. 

If he is afraid that any of this applies to him, then he should limit himself to one, or to slaves that his right hand possesses, because he is not obliged to divide his time equally when it comes to slave women. 

“That”, i.e., limiting yourself to one or to what your right hand possesses (slave women) 

“is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice” i.e., being unfair or unjust. 

Limiting it to one applies in the case where a person fears he may be unjust or unfair, and may fail to do what is required, so he should err on the side of caution and not put himself in that position. 

Tafseer al-Sa’di (p. 163). 

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and favours one of them over the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides leaning.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1141), Abu Dawood (2133), al-Nasaa’i (3942) and Ibn Majaah (1969). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (no. 1949). 

Shaykh al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Al-Teebi said in his commentary on the words “with one of his sides leaning”, i.e., tilting. And it was said that this will be in such a way that all the people on the Day of Resurrection will see him, so this will increase his punishment. 

Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi (4/248). 

If a wife sees that her husband is favouring her co-wife at her expense, or is being unjust to her with regard to her rights, she should hasten to advise her husband in the way that is best, and remind him of what Allaah has enjoined of justice, and what Allaah has forbidden of injustice. She should also hasten to advise her co-wife not to accept this injustice, and not to take anything that is not rightfully hers. Perhaps Allaah will guide him to be just and to give each one her due rights. 

Secondly: 

One aspect of justice between co-wives is for the husband to draw lots if he wants to travel with one wife and not the other(s). This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did with his wives.  

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to go out on a journey, he would cast lots between his wives and the one whose name was drawn, he would take her with him.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2454) and Muslim (2770). 

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This shows that if a man wants to travel with one of his wives, he should cast lots between them. In our view this casting lots is obligatory. 

Sharh Muslim (15/210). 

Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

It is not permissible for him to choose one of his wives to travel with him except by drawing lots. 

Al-Muhalla (9/212). 

Something similar was said by al-Shawkaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) in al-Sayl al-Jiraar (2/304). 

When he comes back from his trip, he should not count the period of his trip for the wife who travelled with him as the result of drawing lots.  

‘Abd al-Barr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

When he comes back from his journey, he should resume the division of his time among them, and he should not count the days of the one with whom he travelled. The hardship that the wife who accompanied him went through as the result of travelling is in return for the time she got to spend with him. 

Al-Tamheed (19/266). 

Thirdly: 

If it is assumed that one of his wives was not able to travel with him, it is pointless to include her in drawing lots, when she is unable to travel with him. In that case, lots should be drawn among those whose circumstances allow them to travel, and lots should not be drawn between those who are able and those who are not. But this is based on the assumption that this is the truth and not just an illusion or based on mistreatment of her, such as if she is sick or she has children and cannot leave them without someone to look after them, or she is not allowed to travel, and other such reasons, and it is not because he wants the other wife to travel with him and not the first one. Otherwise he is being unjust. 

In this case he has to try to please both wives, even if it means making it up to the one who is not travelling by spending extra time with her when he comes back from his trip. 

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Al-Qurtubi said: That varies according to women’s situations, and the prescription of drawing lots applies only if their situations are the same, lest one of them go out with him without a reason to make him take her and not the other(s). 

Fath al-Baari (9/311). 

Dr. Ahmad al-Rayyaan said: 

If the wives’ situations are the same in all aspects, then drawing lots is a must. But if his wives differ in that, there is nothing wrong with choosing, so long as he pays attention to the principles of not favouring one of them and not aiming to cause harm. 

Ta’addud al-Zawjaat (p. 71). 

We do not know of any site that deals specifically with issues of plural marriage. You can look at our site, and at other trustworthy fatwa sites which deal with a lot of questions about plural marriage. 

We have compiled a separate section on our site dealing with issues and rulings on plural marriage, and you can find it at this link:

Ruling on kissing and embracing one wife in front of her co-wives!

Is it lawful to kiss and embrace (wives) in front of other wives. Is it haram if the other wife can see when having intimacy (not intercourse) with them with clothes on?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Allah has prescribed the rulings of sharee‘ah as guidance for mankind, and there is nothing in them that is off-putting or shameful. Rather it is guidance to the best of conduct. The one who ponders these rulings and understands them will not need to think hard in order to work out that what is mentioned in the question about the husband kissing and touching his wife in the presence of his other wives is undoubtedly an abhorrent and off-putting action which is contrary to sharee‘ah, decency and modesty. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

If a person is uncertain about the ruling on something, whether it is permissible or forbidden, he should look at where it leads to and whether there are any bad consequences. If there are any clearly negative consequences that outweigh anything else, then it is impossible for the Lawgiver to have enjoined it or permitted it; rather it is definitively known that it is forbidden, especially if it is something that leads to that which incurs the wrath of Allah and His Messenger. Those who have insight will not doubt that this is haraam.

End quote from Madaarij as-Saalikeen, 1/496 

The basic principle concerning marital relationships is that they remain private and do not include anyone other than the husband and his wife. Hence we may understand why Allah, may He be exalted, forbade children who have reached the age of discernment from entering their parents’ rooms at times of sleep, rest and siesta. The only reason for that is the fear that the child’s gaze may fall upon some ‘awrah, kissing or intercourse, which is the most serious of the three. Hence too we may understand the reason why Allah, may He be exalted, forbade spouses to speak of what happens between them in the marital bed. Were it not that it is not permitted to speak of what happens between the spouses of their intimate relationship, it would not be forbidden for children who have reached the age of discernment to enter at times of privacy or for the spouses to tell people about what happens between them in the marital bed. 

We think that what we have said is completely clear. If we add to that what you have mentioned about this taking place in front of the co-wives of that wife, that is more emphatically prohibited and forbidden, because of what it causes of jealousy, severing ties between co-wives, and resentment against the husband. All of these are things that sharee‘ah dislikes to exist in the lives of Muslims and there is no way that Islam could allow that.  

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

He should not have intimate relations where anyone can see them or hear them, and he should not kiss her or touch her in the presence of other people. 

Ahmad said: I do not like any option except concealing that completely. 

Al-Hasan said, concerning a man who has intercourse with one wife where the other can hear it: They used to disapprove of any sound of intimacy being audible to others. 

And he should not speak of what happens between him and his wife. End quote from al-Mughni, 8/136 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about the ruling on kissing one’s wife in front of other people. 

He replied: 

Some people -- Allah forbid -- who are badly behaved may kiss their wives in front of other people and so on. This is something that is not permitted. End quote. 

Fataawa ash-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem, 10/277 

See also what we said in the answer to question no. 104246 

The husband should develop the attitude of modesty and instil that in the hearts and minds of his wives and children.

And Allah knows best.

Going to the house of the second wife on a day or night that is not hers

Is it permissible for the husband to visit his second wife in a day that is not hers (it is for the first wife) just to ask how her health is because she is ill?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If the husband goes out of the house of the wife whose day it is and goes to the house of the other wife, that is subject to further discussion: 

(a)

If it is during the day, and the division is on the basis of nights, then it is permissible in case of need, such as dropping things off, handing over money for maintenance, finding out news, and visiting her if she is sick and so on, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not favour one of us over another with regard to division of his time and how long he stayed with us, and there was rarely a day when he did not go around to all of us, and he would draw close to each wife without having intercourse, until he reached the one whose day it was, then he would stay overnight with her. Sawdah bint Zam’ah said, when she grew old and feared that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would leave her: O Messenger of Allaah, my day is for ‘Aa’ishah; and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) accepted that from her. Narrated by Abu Dawood (2135); al-Albaani said in Saheeh Abi Dawood: (it is) hasan saheeh. 

It is permissible for the husband to be intimate with his wife when he enters upon her, without having intercourse, because ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would enter upon me when it was the day of another of his wives, and he would do everything with me except intercourse. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (2023). 

He should not stay with her for long, and if he stays too long he should make it up to the one whose turn it is. 

(b)

As for going out to the other wife at night, it is not permissible except in case of necessity, such as if she is gravely ill, or giving birth and her contractions are severe, or there is fear of robbery and fire; if he stays with her too long then he should make it up to the one whose turn it is. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: As for entering upon her co-wife when it is her turn: 

If it is at night, it is not permissible except in case of necessity, such as if she is dying, and he wants to be with her or she wants to give him final requests (a will), or something else that is essential. If he does do that, and he does not stay long before he leaves, he does not have to make it up. If he stays and the sick wife recovers, then he should make it up to the other wife, staying as long as he stayed with (the one who sick). 

If he goes there for something that is not necessary, he is sinning, and the ruling is that he should make it up, just as if he went there for a necessary reason, because there is no point in making up a short time. 

As for entering upon a wife during the day when it is the turn of another, that is permissible in the case of need, such as giving her maintenance, visiting her if she is sick, asking about something that he needs to know, or visiting her because he has not seen her for a while and so on, because of the report narrated by ‘Aa’ishah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would enter upon me when it was the day of another of his wives, and he would do everything with me except intercourse. When he enters upon her, he should not have intercourse with her and he should not stay with her for long, because that means that he has dwelt with her and she is not entitled to that. 

If he stays too long with her, he should make it up (to the other wife). End quote from al-Mughni (7/234). 

Based on that, if the husband’s going to the house of the wife whose turn it is not happens by day, for the reason that you mention of checking on her, then there is no sin on him for that, and he should not stay there for a long time, except in case of necessity. If it happens at night, it is not permissible for him to go to her unless it is an emergency, such as if she is very sick or the wife whose turn it is gives him permission. If he stays there for a long time then he must make it up to the other wife, spending as long with her as he did with (the wife whose house he went to out of turn). 

And Allaah knows best.

Should he allocate time to a wife who is menstruating or in nifaas?

Should a man who has more than one wife to consider his menstruating wife or who has post-natal bleeding when he divides his time among his wives?.

Praise be to Allaah.

The basic principle is that it is obligatory to divide his time between both, based on the principle of justice between co-wives. 

But the custom in many countries is that when a woman gives birth, she stays with her mother for forty days or less, so that her mother can look after her, or her mother may come and look after her in her own house. In either case, he is not obliged to allocate some time to her, and she may agree to waive her right to a share of his time. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Naasir al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it obligatory to allocate a share of time to a wife who is menstruating or in nifaas? 

He replied: 

The well known view in our madhhab (the madhhab of Imam Ahmad) is that he must allocate a share of time to each of them, because they are both wives. But the correct view which should be applied is that the menstruating wife has a right to a share of his time, but in the case of one who is in nifaas, she does not have a right to a share of his time according to custom and because the woman in this situation usually agrees to give up that right; in fact in most cases whilst a woman is still in nifaas she does not want a share of her husband’s time and this is a view in our madhhab. End quote. 

Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah (2/693). 

And Allaah knows best.

Hitting one’s wife?

To be honest i was really astonished to read how you do answer all the questions cleverly. I really want to know more about Islam but every time I know something new, I get suspicious about it Bravely, I would like to know if it is correct that the Coran permits a man to bit his wife? If that’s true how could you explain that?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

We are very happy that you are reading our site and are keen to learn about Islam. We ask Allaah to guide you to that which will bring you happiness in this world and in the hereafter. 

There is nothing in the Qur’aan that suggests that a man is allowed to bite his wife. 

1 – The Qur’aan enjoins good treatment of one's wife: she is to be honoured and treated kindly, even when one no longer feels love in one's heart towards her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19] 

2 – The Qur’aan explains that women have rights over their husbands, just as their husbands have rights over them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise”

[al-Baqarah 2:228] 

This verse indicates that the man has additional rights, commensurate with his role as protector and maintainer and his responsibility of spending (on his wife) etc. 

3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined kind treatment and honouring of one’s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

4 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke beautiful word concerning kind treatment of one’s wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He said, “You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6352; Muslim, 1628. 

4 – And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Fear Allaah with regard to women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah and intimacy with them has become permissible to you by the words of Allaah. Your right over them is that they should not allow anyone to sit on your furniture whom you dislike; if they do that then hit them but not in a harsh manner. And their right over you is that you should provide for them and clothe them on a reasonable basis.” Narrated by Muslim, 1218. 

What is meant by “they should not allow anyone to sit on your furniture whom you dislike” is that they should not allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses, whether the person disliked is a man or a woman, or any of the woman’s mahrams [close relatives to whom marriage is forbidden]. The prohibition includes all of them. From the words of al-Nawawi. 

The hadeeth may be understood as meaning that a man has the right to hit his wife, in a manner that is not harsh and does not cause injury if if there is a reason for that, such as her going against his wishes or disobeying him. 

This is like the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34] 

If a woman rebels against her husband and disobeys his commands, then he should follow this method of admonishing her, forsaking her in bed and hitting her. Hitting is subject to the condition that it should not be harsh or cause injury. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: this means that it should not cause pain. 

‘Ata’ said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwaak and the like. [A siwaak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator] 

The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman, rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her. 

And Allaah knows best.

She is sick and her husband is forcing her to go to work

I have a problem, I hope you could answer it quickly. Do I have to obey my husband? I´m working muslim. I have been now sick over almost 2 weeks. I have been in doctor, who give me medicine and sick leave from work. Now my husband wants me to go back to work, even I´m still sick.
This is a big problem to me. This happens always when I get sick. My husband thinks that I´m only playing sick, because he thinks that I don´t wanna work. I like my work and I´m not playing any games. How can I prove to my husband that I´m really sick. He does not believe me.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

It should be pointed out that a woman’s work may be haraam, if it involves mixing with men or selling or making things that are haraam, or working in a bank, and so on. 

If that is the case, then the woman should give up this work and look for a permissible job. Her husband is obliged to spend on her on a reasonable basis, according to what he can afford. See question no. 33710. 

Secondly: 

If her work is permissible, and she falls sick and going to work is too difficult for her, or will delay her recovery or make her sicker, then the husband must pay attention to that. It is not permissible for him to demand that his wife do something that will cause her harm. 

The husband must treat his wife in a kind and reasonable manner. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and live with them honourably”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19] 

It is not reasonable or honourable to demand that the wife go to work when she is sick. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined the men of his ummah to treat women well: “(I urge you) to treat women well.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3331; Muslim, 1468. 

What this hadeeth means is: accept this advice and follow it: treat them kindly and live with them honourably. 

Fath al-Baari. 

The husband should not doubt his wife’s sincerity; his life with her should be based on trust and honesty, not suspicion and doubt. 

If the husband is not convinced by the medical reports which prove that his wife is sick, and he is not convinced by the signs of sickness that he sees in her, then he will never be convinced by anything. So the wife should try (to convince him) in a gentle manner and treat him in a way that is better; may Allaah guide him to that which is best for his family. 

And Allaah knows best.

Obeying one’s husband comes before obeying one’s parents and siblings

how important is a husband to his wife, are her sisters more important than husband, who should she listen to, how up on the importance ladder does husband comes. is husband more important than her own parents and sisters.

Praise be to Allaah.  

The Qur’aan and Sunnah indicate that the husband has a confirmed right over his wife, and that she is commanded to obey him, treat him well and put obedience to him above obedience to her parents and brothers. Indeed, he is her paradise and her hell. For example, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission, or to allow anyone in his house without his permission.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899. 

Al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth: Since it is obligatory for a woman to obey her husband with regard to his satisfying his desire, it is more appropriate that it be obligatory for her to obey him in that which is more important than that, namely raising their children, guiding the family, and other rights and duties.

From Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 282 

Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 660. 

Ibn Maajah (1853) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said, “What is this, O Mu'aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you. The Messenger of Allaah (S) said, “Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah. 

Ahmad (19025) and al-Haakim narrated from al-Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for something and he dealt with her need, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He said: “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not neglect any of his rights except those I am unable to fulfil.” He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your paradise and your hell” – i.e., he is the cause of you entering Paradise if you fulfil his rights and the cause of your entering Hell if you fall short in that. 

Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. 1933. 

If there is a conflict between obedience to one’s husband and obedience to one’s parents, then obedience to one’s husband takes priority. Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning a woman who has a husband and a sick mother: Obeying her husband is more obligatory upon her than (taking care of) her mother, unless he gives her permission. (Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, 3/47). 

In al-Insaaf (8/362) it says: She does not have to obey her parents with regard to leaving her husband or visiting etc., rather obedience to the husband takes priority. 

There is a hadeeth concerning this issue which was narrated by al-Haakim from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: I asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Who has the most right over a woman?” He said: “Her husband.” I said, “Who has the most right over a man?” He said, “His mother.” 

But this is a weak (da’eef) hadeeth, which was classed as such by al-Albaani in Da’eef al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 1212, and he criticized al-Mundhiri for classing it as hasan. 

And Allaah knows best.

The reason why it is forbidden to have intercourse with one's wife when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth

What is the wisdom behind the prohibition on having intercourse with one's wife when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth? If the reason for the prohibition is the blood because it is impure, then is it permissible to have intercourse using a barrier like a condom?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Allaah has forbidden men to have intercourse with their wives in the vagina at the time of menstruation. 

The Qur’aan clearly stated the reason for this prohibition, which is that menstruation is adha (a harmful thing). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses”
[al-Baqarah 2:222] 

Scientific studies in this field have disclosed to us some of the harm that is referred to in this verse, but they have not managed to describe all the harms that are referred to in the Qur’aanic text. 

Dr. Muhiy al-Deen al-‘Alabi said: “It is essential to refrain from having intercourse with a menstruating women because doing so leads to an increase in the flow of menstrual blood, because the veins of the uterus are congested and prone to rupture, and get damaged easily; and the wall of the vagina is also susceptible to injury, so the likelihood of inflammation is increased, which leads to inflammation in the uterus and in the man’s penis, because of the irritation that occurs during intercourse. Having intercourse with a menstruating woman may also be off-putting to both the man and his wife, because of the presence and smell of blood, which may make the man impotent (i.e., uninterested in sex). 

Dr. Muhammad al-Baar said, speaking of the harm that may be caused to the menstruating woman: The lining of the uterus is shed during menstruation, and the uterus is scarred as a result, just like when the skin is flayed. So it is vulnerable to bacteria and the introduction of the bacteria that are to be found at the tip of the penis poses a great danger to the uterus.  

Hence the penetration of the penis into the vagina at the time of menstruation is no more than the introduction of germs at a time when the body is unable to fight them. 

Dr. al-Baar thinks that the harm is not limited to what he describes of the introduction of germs into the uterus and vagina which is difficult to treat, rather it also extends to other things, namely: 

1.     The spread of infection to the fallopian tubes, which may then become blocked, which in turn may lead to infertility or ectopic pregnancy, which is the most dangerous kind of pregnancy.

2.     The spread of infection to the urethra, bladder and kidneys; diseases of the urinary tract are usually serious and chronic.

3.     Increase of germs in the menstrual blood, especially gonorrhea germs. 

The menstruating woman is also in a physical and psychological state that is not conducive to intercourse, so if it takes place it will harm her a great deal and cause her pains during her period, as Dr. al-Baar said: 

1.     Menstruation is accompanied by pains, the severity of which varies from one woman to another. Most women experience pains in the back and lower abdomen. For some women the pain is unbearable and has to be treated with medication and painkillers.

2.     Many woman suffer depression and stress during their period, especially at the beginning, and their mental and intellectual state is at the lowest level during menstruation.

3.     Some women suffer migraines just before their period starts, and the pain is severe and causes visual disturbances and vomiting.

4.     Women’s sexual desire decreases, and many woman have no interest at all in sex during their periods. The entire reproductive system is in a state that is akin to sickness, so intercourse at this time is not natural and serves no purpose, rather it can cause a great deal of harm.

5.     A woman’s temperature drops during menstruation, as does her pulse and blood pressure, which makes her feel dizzy, exhausted and lethargic. 

Dr. al-Baar also mentions that the harm is not only caused to the woman by having intercourse with her, rather the man is also affected by this action, which may cause infection in his reproductive system which may lead to sterility as a result. The severe pains suffered as a result of this infection may be even worse than the sterility it causes.  

And there are many other harmful effects, some of which have not yet been discovered, but Allaah has referred to them when He said (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath)”

[al-Baqarah 2:222] 

Allaah has described it as adha, a harmful thing both for the wife and for the husband, and other harmful effects about which Allaah knows best. 

Thus it becomes clear that the prohibition on intercourse at the time of menstruation is not just because of the blood, rather it is for many reasons as stated above. 

The Muslim must also obey the command of Allaah, for He is the Creator and He knows best what is good for His slaves and what is harmful to them. He is the One Who says “keep away from women during menses”, so even if the reason behind this is not clear, we must still submit to the command of Allaah Who has commanded that a man should not have intercourse with his wife during this time. 

See al-Hayd wa’l-Nifaas wa’l-Haml bayna al-Fiqh wa’l-Tibb by Dr. ‘Umar al-Ashqar. 

Tawdeeh al-Ahkaam by al-Bassaam, 1/362. 

However it is permissible for a man to be intimate with his wife, without having intercourse (at the time of menstruation). 

See also questions no. 36740, 36722 and 36864.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then begin to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know truth core of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Good Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all needs to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad acts to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the inquiry remains the exact same that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Divine All these response can be found when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us connect hands to full fill our responsibility. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

The reason why the husband is regarded as superior and is given the role of qawwaam (protector and maintainer)

I am a Muslim girl, praise be to Allaah. I have read a lot and I have heard the scholars speak about the husband’s rights over his wife, and how great he is. I have heard ahaadeeth which speak sternly about a woman disobeying her husband. I want to obey the commands of Allaah and His Messenger when I get married, if Allaah wills, but I have a question, if I may ask about it. This question is going around in the minds of many women, but they are too embarrassed to ask them lest they be accused of ignorance or of denying the command of Allaah and His Messenger. The question is: what is it that makes the man superior so that he deserves all these rights over women?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

The great rights that a husband has over his wife are something that is affirmed in sharee’ah, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise”

[al-Baqarah 2:228] 

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”

Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1853; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.  

And there are other similar texts. 

Allaah has explained the reason in the verse where He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34] 

This superiority is something that Allaah has decreed, and He is not to be questioned about what He does, rather they are to be questioned. It is also because of what the man does, spending on his family and striving to earn a living for them. 

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer (1/363):  “The phrase ‘but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them’ means that they are superior in physical nature, attitude, status, obedience to the commands of Allaah, spending, taking care of interests, and virtue, in this world and in the Hereafter, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means’

[al-Nisa’4:34].” End quote. 

He also said (1/653): “Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ meaning that men are in charge of women, i.e., they are their leaders, who rule over them and discipline them if they go astray. ‘because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other’ means, because men are superior to women, and men are better than women. Hence Prophethood was given to men only, as is the highest position of authority (i.e., khilaafah or the position of caliph), because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No people will ever succeed who appoint a woman as their ruler.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari from the hadeeth of ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Abi Bakr from his father. The same applies to the position of judge etc. ‘and because they spend (to support them) from their means’ means, because of the mahr, spending and maintenance that Allaah has enjoined upon men with regard to women in His Book and in the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). So men are better than women in and of themselves, and they have the responsibility to spend on them and maintain them, so it is appropriate that the man should be the protector and maintainer of the woman, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them’, i.e., they are in charge of them. She should obey him in that which he commands her to do, and obeying him means treating his family well and protecting his wealth.” End quote. 

Al-Baghawi said in his Tafseer (2/206):  “ ‘because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other’ means, men excel women because they have more powers of reason and religious commitment and they are in charge of affairs. And it was said that this refers to giving testimony, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And if there are not two men (available), then a man and two women’ [al-Baqarah 2:282].  And it was said that it refers to jihad, or to worship i.e., Jumu’ah and prayers in congregation, or that it refers to the fact that a man may marry four wives, but a woman is not permitted more than one husband; or the fact that divorce is in the man’s hand; or that it refers to inheritance, or to diyah (blood money), or to Prophethood.” 

Al-Baydaawi said in his Tafseer (2/184): “ ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ means that they are in charge of them and take care of them. He gave two reasons for that, one that is inherent in them and one that is acquired subsequently, and said: ‘because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other’, because Allaah has favoured men over women by making men more perfect in reasoning and running affairs, and has given them more strength with regard to work and acts of worship. Hence men are singled out when it comes to Prophethood, leadership, guardianship, establishing rituals, giving testimony in legal matters, the obligation to engage in jihad and pray Jumu’ah, and so on, and they are given a greater share of inheritance, and divorce is in the man’s hand. ‘and because they spend (to support them) from their means’ refers to what they spend with regard to marriage, such as the mahr and maintenance, etc.” End quote. 

In conclusion, men have been given the role of protectors and maintainers for the two reasons mentioned in the verse, one of which is inherent i.e., Allaah has made men superior to women, and the other of which is acquired by the man through his own hard work, which his spending his wealth on his wife. 

And Allaah knows best.